Posted 9 months ago
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Sep
7
2010
Photo of the day
Just as our eyes need light in order to see, our minds need ideas in order to conceive. - Napoleon Hill ; Photo Credits: mycoexpress
(via sarahlauren)
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Sep
7
2010
on the verge of breaking down… =l
I AM ON THE VERGE OF BREAKING DOWN.
For the past months, I was used and abused. I felt that my worth was highly appreciated to the extent that my needs were forgotten.
Early in the morning, I am forced to open up, process things as fast as I can just to suffice the needs of others. I know I am a source of joy for most of the people that surrounds me. I can be very productive and give outputs in an instant. They can also have me as a source of entertainment or if they just want to kill time. Though oftentimes, I would here clamors when things don’t happen according to their plans. And blames are put on me. Pointing fingers, dagger looks, swearing, everything!!
There are instances I was left hanging. Literally and figuratively hanging. Sometimes I wish that by being momentarily suspended, I would just break down and so its over. But I wouldn’t just crash! Whoever created me, HE must be GOOD! Because I am still here, I may not be in good shape just like before, I may have lapses and slow moments, but I am still functioning.
Should I be happy about this? Should I take pride with my own capacities? YES. But what’s wrong with me? Why do I still find myself perfectly imperfect? Others have evolved. They’ve undergo some modifications for their own betterment. But me? I guess I’ll be stuck here forever. I guess, I would just have to wait for the time that people wouldn’t find any use in me. And then just ignore like a piece of junk, unknowingly existing. Until when will I exist? I’d rather vanish in this earth than to be here and be left behind in the future!
If only I could seize the moment. The moment when I was one of the most advanced, highly powered laptops in the world. But I just couldn’t.
—— sentiments of my 2 y/o laptop, I guess I have to upgrade her very, very soon… :)
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Jun
28
2010
Photo of the day
Say Cheeeeessseee!!! :)
> a picture that made my tiring day.. :)
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Jun
27
2010
fragments of a broken heart
I am writing this not because I have a broken heart nor a broken soul. I am writing this because my heart goes for a friend who is hurting and is about to break her heart (or maybe broken already) because of pain brought by deception.
When your heart’s broken, what now?
There is no exact formulation nor medication when it comes to mending a broken heart. I am not a love guru and not even an expert in break ups or moving on. I do give unsolicited advice about relationships but sometimes I don’t practice what I preach. Though I am not 100% love genius, I’ve been through a lot also and I’ve learn from my mistakes. And one thing I am definitely sure is in order to heal your heart, you have to go deep down to yourself and ask what do you really want. Sometimes, there is a need for you to do self-arguing just to realize how painful things are and would be more miserable if you continue to dwell in pain instead of thinking how to get away from it. In healing your heart, there are only two options: accept the fact that things will never be the same again then move on OR hold on to your dream that things will still work out until you reach a point you lose your self-respect.
As for myself, I can’t remember what did I do (aside from hair rebonding, shopping and spending time in gym) just to finally get over and start my new life again. Everything happened in an instant when I finally accepted the situation and embraced all the repercussions brought by pain of being cheated. It took me sometime to finally move forward (not just move on!). And when I started moving forward, I did not look back not because its still painful but because I didn’t see the need of reminiscing painful memories. Yes, painful experiences make us learn to be tougher in facing challenges. But pains can also make you sink in situations that in the end you’ll find yourself drowning in bitterness and loneliness. Its okay to feel sad and blame the whole world for what your lover did to you, but do it in a shortest period of time as much as possible. Or else, you’ll be a walking bitter pill that others might not understand and you’ll find yourself in a loser town wherein the population is just yourself. Very pathetic situation.
Say NO to lonely hearts club!
When a friend shared her story about her boyfriend who lied to her because he doesn’t want to hurt her by telling the truth (duh?very typical excuse!), I immediately sympathized with her. If I’m in her situation, I would just break up with the guy and forget the almost three years relationship we had. But I know its not that easy. And it will never be easy to throw away good things you’ve experienced together. At first, I wanted to brainwash her and encourage her to forget about him, tell her she doesn’t deserve him, she’ll find a better man blah blah blah…but I realized it would be like dictating her on what to do without her realizing what she really wants. I tried to keep my mouth shut though I can see her bubbly face turns into a gloomy one. She can relay her stories well but I feel the pain in her heart. I wanted to help but I can only do so much.
I tried to analyze her situation. I asked myself as if I’m the one involved. Up to what extent should we give chance to our lovers? Or until when should we forgive them in times they’ve offended us? Should we stay in a relationship because of the years we’ve spent together? Or should we let go already before we lose our self-respect? How can you love without trust? Or how can you bring back trust to someone who repeatedly lied to you? Will it all be worthy after all?
Of course, I had a hard time answering these questions because as of now I’m not into a serious relationship. But logically speaking, if you think things would be worse or still painful even if you have forgiven him, then might as well do not continue the relationship. Why? Because you’ll end up hurting each other more to the extent that you’ll be filled with hatred. But if you think you can still love him unconditionally despite and in spite of everything (lies, broken promises, flirtations) then GO! Love, love, love!!
Making a choice in a relationship is like making a decision that involves a matter of life and death. Whatever your decision would be, it’ll affect your totality as a person. If you decided to stay in a relationship but you are half-hearted about it because you still have doubts to your partner, I am 100% sure that you’ll have regrets in the end. But if you decided to put an end in a relationship that you think will not work out (as of the moment) then you are in a win-win situation. You’ll have time to grow as a person (alone) and you’ll have time to realize things that are important in a relationship.
After all, if you are really meant for each other, no matter how many break ups you’ve been to, you’ll still find yourselves walking down the aisle and say to each other with a great smile “we’ve made it!”
“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken — and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.” ~ Margaret Mitchell
Jun
27
2010
The First Graduation Speech I’ve Ever Had
I already graduated 4 times in my life - preschool, grade school, high school and college - but only this time I delivered an impromptu speech on behalf of my filmmaking classmates.
June 19, 2010: I went early to Mowelfund to finish the editing of our film because we had a very little problem, so little that Boom was able to fix it in just one click. While waiting for our classmates, we stayed in the cafe and watched how the Mowel people set the place for our intimate graduation. Knicks arrived early because she’s one of the host for the said event. While contemplating on what to do / say, Kuya (sungit) Edwin told us that we need one representative to give a short speech on behalf of the batch. Boom and Knicks looked at me with very suggestive eyes. I don’t know how I was chosen or how I decided to speak. Duh? Me? Bulol? Rawr!!
Around 6pm, my classmates and their guests arrived. We stayed in our favorite spot “the smoking area” because it was raining hard prior to the start of the event. We played around, chillax for a moment and enjoyed the free entertainment given by Joe-lina. When we went down for the program, I forgot that I am going to deliver a speech. I was reminded only when I heard the lengthy talk of batch 2009 representative. I was intimated because I guess, based on what I’ve heard, she prepared her speech well. As in WELL. I started cramming (i love cramming!). I grabbed a paper from Knicks and borrowed a ballpen from Alex. While the film viewing of batch 2009 is going on, I started writing my thoughts. Damn! I had a hard time. I want my talk to be short but sweet. I want it to be very significant. I really want to speak the hearts and minds of my classmates.
While I was writing, I told Direk Charlie that I am so nervous. He just glanced at me and said “sabihin mo lang kung anong gusto mo!” Alright!! That was the right cue!! I don’t have to think hard, I’ll just say what I have to say. And so it was my turn, I went up on stage with nervous hands and trembling voice. I’ve been teaching for 7 years but I still hate public speaking!! But anyway, here’s my short but sweet speech:
When we enrolled here in Mowelfund Film Institute, our only goal is to learn the basics of filmmaking. For almost a month of workshop, learning the basics of filmmaking - from scriptwriting to directing - is just a consolation compared to the most rewarding gift we have ever received from this institution. That gift is PASSION. Passion that allows us to give our BEST in making our own film. Passion that will continue to motivate us in making a difference in the film industry. Though we came from different areas of specialization - like we have a philosophy / med student, a painter, marketing expert, civil engineer or a teacher - I strongly believe that fate brought us here to achieve our ultimate goal. What could be that goal? Just like what our batch shirts say: “Okay Batch 2010, Shoot na Tayo!! Gagawa tayo ng maraming pelikula! Pasisikatin natin sila! At bubuhayin natin ang industriya ng pelikulang Pilipino!”
The Graduates… :)
The Future Filmmakers… :)
“Anybody can direct a picture once they know the fundamentals. Directing is not a mystery, it’s not an art. The main thing about directing is: photograph the people’s eyes.” –John Ford
Jun
26
2010
Photo of the day
How I miss the man with a big voice in our home…
I love you Papa! :)